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Zorch Interdimensional Badness Threader

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Price $$$: Your first born (or someone else's)

It is our devious delight to bring to you Cryztorch’s original foray into transdimensional evil. Best known for its ability to weave chaos into every quantum nook and cranny, OUR Zorch Interdimensional Badness Threader (ZIBT) is FAR superior to any goody goody knock-off. 

 

Why let some corporation tell you what is or isn’t “safe”. With our technology, now YOU are in control of how time and space are woven. You want bees in your enemy’s bonnet? DONE! Do you prefer your dimension to be a little more...Yellow? YOU GOT IT! Or maybe you just want to watch the quantumverse burn tear down some Bridges...MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! 

 

With a proven track record of mayhem and powered by a clean, renewable source of Flow forced into the most rigid of Prime designs, OUR ZIBT is guaranteed to make all your worst nightmares come true.

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Zorch Insidious Bridge Flow Tracker

Is your Crappy Idiot Box Transponder chock full of chumps? Do you spend more time worrying about your next Flow fix and less time hatching evil plans? Well, sucks to be you...or does it?! With our newest product, you’ll never complain about your loser problems ever again!

 

Straight from our manufacturing partners on Pyom, the Zorch Insidious Bridge Flow Tracker (ZIBT) vastly improves upon previous, and foolishly unpatented, designs. With transdimensional elitists hoarding all the Flow for themselves, our devilish device gives you the power to seek and find what is truly yours. Leave instructed work for the suckers...finally, their Flow is at YOUR command!

KIRIN EGGS

HATCH THEM.

FEED THEM.

BREED THEM.

ENSLAVE THEM.

FUNCTIONAL AND USELESS. SOLD IN PACKS OF TWELVE.

FEED THE HOLE.

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DELICIOUS AND

DANGEROUS TO CONSUME. VALUE PRICED. FEED THE HOLE.

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PURCHASE.

CONSUME.

MICTURATE.

REPEAT.

AVAILABLE IN CHOCOLATE, VANILLA, AND NUTMEG.

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(PRODUCT KID/CLOWN FRIENDLY)

$719.2 PER BOTTLE

MASKS

DO YOU WEAR THEM, OR DO THEY WEAR YOU?

IMMORTALITY

-GIFT FROM CLAMARA,

PRINCE OF CHAD.

-SLOWS AGING PROCESS.

BUT C'MON....

(FEED THE HOLE)

$719.2
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PRIMAL FEAR

-PROMOTES FIGHT OR

FLIGHT RESPONSE.

-BASED ON FTHR'S FIRST, (BUT NOT TRUE) FORM.

(FEED THE HOLE)

$719.2

NIGHTMARE FUEL

-PROVIDES ILLUSORY FORM TO THE FORMLESS.

-FUNCTIONS IN LIMINAL SPACES ONLY.

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$14.95

WHEN YOU GET IT,

YOU'LL GET IT

SPEAKERHORNS

-SERIOUSLY, YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS OURS.

(FEED THE HOLE)

$719.2

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